Any Day Now

Well, y'all, the time is nigh. Though she's not due until later in July, we hit 37 weeks last Saturday, which as I mentioned in a previous post, means Cati's at term. Any time little Spork decides to emerge s/he will be perfectly ready for the world. Considering all wham-pow going on in Cati's belly, Spork is definitely primed.

We, too, are fairly ready. We have a funny relationship with our midwife, who kind of terrifies us. Not in a bad way, but in that mentor/teacher/coach/parent way where you spend a lot of time trying to impress them. She's just a shade over 5 foot, but is as immovable as a rock. I spend a lot of time trying to make her laugh, and when she chuckles a little I feel it's a major victory and go home glowing. She's scolded us a couple times, once because Cati wasn't gaining quite enough weight, and then again later when Cati had apparently too enthusiastically embraced that advice. She also gave us a stern look when at 37 weeks we still didn't have our infant car seat purchased. Recently, we've met several people who also have Maria as a midwife, and we've been very relieved to laugh along with them as they relate similar stories. It's nice to know we aren't the bad kids at the back of the room...

I think part of the problem is that the baby-hospital culture has made people a little inherently lazy when preparing for birth. Even though we're doing a homebirth, we still managed to fall into the general fog of "Oh THEY'll take care of it, or IT will get taken care of..." In fact, when you birth at home, it's YOU that's doing everything. Our midwife's job is to be there to assist when needed, be there for emergencies and go into action at crucial moments. The rest is me and Cati, roving about the house, trying to get comfortable, making crazy sounds together, singing, talking to the baby, and ultimately making life. We've also been purchasing supplies and arranging the house properly. At first it's daunting, like "Damn, are we really ok being responsible for all this?" But now, with all our birth supplies laid out in the hallway and our various massages and movements practiced, and phone trees set up, it feels really good. Even if we end up having to go to the hospital in the end for some reason, it feels like we've really embraced this birth in a way we wouldn't have if we'd gone to the hospital right off. I don't know how every midwife is, but part of the effect of Maria's stonefaced yet gentle urgings has been to make us really turn inwards. There's no one out there who's gonna make this baby happen or make the pain different or anything. Cati really is strong enough, and I'm really ready. I don't know that we would've known that about ourselves otherwise.